Freelensed Friday...

Ignoring the rules of photography and having fun - Just how Fridays should be! :)

Serendipity Sam...

So here we are - May already, the spring is blossoming and the excitement of new beginnings is whispered in the wind.

For me it's probably the first year I've felt this. Really felt it deep down inside. Life happens and weeks, months even years go by in a flash. I've been feeling for the last few years at least that the sense of something will happen and I'll know what I'm meant to do with my life was not making an appearance. I was thinking maybe my fate was to work in admin and clean the bathroom. As thrilling as that is I had an overwelming desire to achieve more. I needed something creative apart from floristry (flowers are expensive and not really an affordable hobby!).  I'd been playing about with a vintage DSLR for a year or so. A college prospectus landed on my doorstep, photography was on the first page.  I wanted to recreate the images that I frequently capture in my mind! Frustrated and enthusiastic I booked on. Yes!

I had a problem, once I started to learn the camera settings and put into practise some of the techniques of photography I just couldn't stop... Still very much an amateur I realised that for the first time I understood. The frustration was turned into creativity and it was not dulling down, in fact I needed to know more!

10 months on and half way through my Level 3 Diploma it has become very apparent that this has been a massive hole in my life. I look back to being 15 sat in Southampton Library with my older and then wiser ;) sister. I'd never known what I wanted to 'be' when I grew up... We browsed national geographic and considered photography. Sadly circumstances and life meant this didn't take shape. It was archived in my mind. 

16 years later that conversation I had whilst sat there in that library, with every reason why I should consider photography was loud and clear! In fact crystal clear. I might not have done it for a reason but I was going to give it a go. I'm happy to say I don't think I'm crap which is a huge relief. I am however in the beginning of my journey and aware I have a lot to learn. I have no idea exactly which genre of photography suits my style best so I'm trying them all in the process. 

My grandfather was a professional photographer, I've recently been looking at a lot of his landscape work, although he was mainly a wedding photographer. His images inspire me and I feel so proud. 

Who knows where this will go, if I can make a career out of taking photos then I genuinely would never moan about work again! If I can't then I most definitely have no desire to put the camera down! I dream about composition and editing - it's basically a dream come true just being able to recreate something I've visualised after wishing I could for many years!

So in season of new beginnings it's strange to say that I really feel like my life has only just kicked off. 

Here's to the future and living the life you are destined to... :) 

I don't have any pictures of me grinning and stupidly excited about how I feel, but I do have the next best thing and 'this' shows how I feel! :)

Bloggers block....

Ok I vowed to begin a blog, to continue writing it, regardless of how inspiring it would be. Then I stopped. 

Dammit.

It's a complete example of me, and how I can be so passionate about something one moment and really not bothered days, weeks or months later...I have been thinking about this and I've decided to try again. 

It's my nature to think I've failed before I've started so it's probably the main reason I give up prematurely on most things before really giving it my all. So today I don't promise to write daily or weekly or at any particular time. I don't promise to entertain or inspire you. However I do promise that I'm going to be 100% me. And 'me' is unpredictable, erratic and almost always unreliable. So why not start again as I mean to go on! 

Until later - possibly next week, next month, next year or in an hour. I'm taking this blogging thing one step at a time! Keep smiling!

I hate cake....

Today I have decided to start a new journey. Not the exact journey i'd really like to. It's not a long haul trip to a white sand destination or an exciting trip to a busy capital city with my flexible friend...no. 

 I'm going to become the fittest me I can be. This is a big deal and is very overdue! 

 I have been running regularly recently but it hasn't had the results I hoped for. I'm definitely much fitter and stronger, however this isn't reflected on the outside and quite frankly I'd like it to. 

So from now onwards I'm commiting this blog to this journey.  I will blog about me given myself a beasting. I mean business. And right now I wouldn't mess with me! ;) 

The starting pictures are not going to be pretty and I promise to save the flesh shorts till there's some progress! 

I'm not drunk or drugged and I can't promise the inner beyonce isn't going to make an appearance on a night out, but I have realised that the longer I'm not the person I want to be is a total waste of myself. Also right now I'd quite like to occupy my mind on getting sweaty and a fitness freak then deal with the grown up shite that apparently as grown up I have to. ;) 

The master plan is to continue running and start on the weights asap. Any advice or general comments greatly appreciated! 

To be honest it's not all about me, for me it's also about 3 beautiful little people I somehow created. I hope that I can inspire them to acheive anything they set their minds to. Even if it's the near impossible! (I'm very aware this is 99% impossible, 1% possible!) but I'll work my hardest to be the best 1% I can be!! 

And whilst I'm being honest I lied in the title....I'm wondering if that may be a contributing factor to the problem.😁☺️

Let the arse kicking begin!!

Tenacious Tuesday...

The blog continues...

I have to learn to play my guitar. When I bought it around 4 years ago. I was so sure the lessons I had aged 10 would have carried me through. Sadly not. However I have to play, lessons need to be booked.

My work life needs a kick up the butt. I'm doing something I don't love whilst putting something I love on hold. Life waits for no one and whilst I think it will happen at some point it's never going to if I don't kick start it. The ball is rolling...eeekkkkk!

Inspiration - I look constantly at others. Couples, beautiful women I wish I was. Successful business women, the thin girl out running that makes me push myself that final mile with just a hope of being like her. Everyone around - me, you, us, are inspirations. Each with our own unique talent or quality. Even if it's not apparent at first. It's easy to forget that others may occasionally look to you as you do them...be inspirational.

Sometimes it's easy to forget to listen. Hearing and listening are two very different things. I hope I'm a good listener but I usually get interrupted by the sound of my own voice...damn the chatty side of me.  Although I can be very insecure and shy a lot of the time. This is when I listen. I listen to everything, then worry a lot about that person. And think a lot about everything I could have said but didn't. Damn you shy side!

Step out. I tonight enjoyed my photography class. I've met some wicked people and I love how we all started completely exposed to something we love but know little about. It's so refreshing to meet like minded people with similar goals that aren't afraid of strangers! I surprise my shy self. A lot of the time. (I'm wondering if I'm shy after all!!?)

Friends. My beautiful group of besties from school are all getting together on a posh night out this weekend. I can't wait. This also means I have to dress up as a girl...just to clarify I'm 100% girl but I may wear something pretty and spend some time on my hair and makeup and not just sort it in the car in the way! I can't wait, it's going to fab. 😊

Happy Tuesday.😚

Ten on a Tuesday....

1. Hope....I had this word permenantly inscripted on my arm so I'm thinking it's pretty high up in my thoughts. Without it what is there? People looking forward to nothing? HOPE is a magic word and it's exactly what everybody needs to keep going for what they believe in.

2. Love....again permanently inked on me. (You may see a theme!) love is something that you can't see, you can only feel. Personally I compare it to magic, but real magic. It's like a magnetic force between two people/things (or strangely even objects...if you've seen the programme you'll get me!). Its underrated and sadly rejected by some. It's one thing no one can take away from you. No matter what happens.

3.Faith....yep on the arm! Hands up I'm not religious and I think many people think this word only refers to some kind godly figure. For me it's simple. If you have faith in yourself you can do anything. If you transfer that faith into others the rewards are amazing. Try it! 

4.Dolphin....just kidding, that's just a stupid tattoo I had when I was a child. (Were there no age limits then!?)

5. Coffee....I love you. I have faith that my nespresso will produce the delicious coffee that I hope for. See what I did there ;) 

6.Strangers.....take them or leave them. Personally I think strangers are amazing. Obviously not the weird ones hanging around outside school gates. But the general strangers. The everyday people doing all the regular stuff you're doing. We all go around ignoring each other like we don't exist, we are the same! You don't turn a herd of horses out and they all look the other way, you don't walk the dog and they ignore every other canine they meet. Why is it that we are so ignorant of others? Maybe I'm crazy but I try and talk to strangers whenever the moments right (let's be clear I don't just rock up to a random clearly enjoying their costa and start chatting!) I just think we should talk more. What's the harm.

7.Perseverance..... Often in life you, me, them will be thrown a curve ball. Persever and take one day at a time and someday the pain will become less. The fog will begin to lift and the sun will shine again. It takes time.

8. Blogs....why??!

9.Photography....I'm new to it but I love it. I've started the next stage of my photography course and the ideas are literally bubbling out of my very small mind. I may need to shut them up. Probably with wine! ;)

10.Wine....I love you. I don't care what anyone says. Wine is the best medicine for life. I'm not talking about getting wrecked daily! But just a glass at the end of the day is sometimes the difference between sitting, chilling and persuading ones self it'll all be ok. Compared to no wine, and getting ones keys and walking, walking, walking. In a forest gump style - just slower!

 Cheers!!! :)

 

Simple Sam......

I complicate things, thats me. I always want more, not tomorrow not next week but today. Now. In a minute.

The chances are i will make whatever it is happen if it is even remotely possible, but just sometimes this is not a possibility....give it a day or two and i'll be moving onto the next want and have to have. And probably realise what a stupid idea I had a couple of days ago.

Shallow, yes. Selfish possibly, Determined - Definitely.

Just to clarify I'm not just talking about material possessions. I'm talking about moments. You know the free ones that may only last a brief moment but stay with you for a lifetime.

So.....here I am just waiting for life to begin, then I give myself the biggest kick up the arse I can and remind myself this is it. This is the real thing and whatever time I spend dwelling on what I would do, or could do, i'm missing these magic moments that are happening right now. Tonights is a gorgeous glass of red wine. ;-) this counts right?!

Deep, deep down somewhere i'm an explorer and I want to experience EVERYTHING that is physically possible unless it involves being on the edge of something very high. This means any opportunity to do something that puts a smile on mine or others faces then - i'm in.

Honestly I've had this conversation so many times, I am that person but talking about it proves nothing. It's time to make stuff happen....

I'm sure i'll still feel as enthusiastic tomorrow!


These are a few of my favourites pics from our last minute trip to the beach yesterday. We had chips with sand, swimming in clothes and absolutely no idea how I got there or how to get home. BUT, we had the best day. Stayed for dinner and sunset and then went home the long way. :-)