It's not until the last few months of my whole 33 years on this planet that I finally feel content and grounded about my life.
I'm not saying things are perfect, what is. But for me it's been a journey of ups and downs and a constant feeling of not having a purpose or prospect in terms of a career.
I've never been one to say 'this is what I want to be' in fact I rebelled against this. I'm not a conformist and in a world where people are judged on there professional status and academic achievments I was in fact failing miserably.
The funny thing is as soon as I stopped listening to society and what I 'should' do with my life my heart told me without even realising. I'm a creative. Love me or hate me this is in my blood. Sadly i'm a rebel too and even when I was creating the best art work at school and predicted A* if I took it further I choose to go the other route. Why? Who knows....perhaps to follow the path that makes me question things a little more than some, maybe to have struggled trying to find myself has enabled me to know when I finally did...
This may all be blah, blah, blah and probably is to most, but to me, in my weird and wonderful mind it all makes sense.
I have discovered photography and i'm still creating wedding flowers and bouquets for lovely people and i'm incredibly grateful for that opportunity but my camera. Well. I will never be without it again. It means I can share the visions in my mind and not recreate what is in yours. I can see MY vision in black and white {or colour} and I fell so satisfied. I have begun to share some of my images and the feedback i've had has been overwhelming. :) Friends, colleagues, family and other photographers that are successful and I admire are openly encouraging me and my passion. I am so unbelievably great full.
I have resisted the urge to be good at something forever, I believe for me this is my defence mechanism as if I don't try I can't fail. I give up negativity towards me. I'm going for it!
Unfortunately there will always be some people that long for others to fail. This happens in all walks of life. This is sad and such a pity. Imagine how amazing this world would be if we all just supported each other a little more. Never mind, no time for negativity in my life, i'm surrounding myself with people that I admire and inspire me. :)
For the first time ever I feel i've found me - I am finding my style and i've a long way to go, but for now I'm in a little bubble, happy, content. Bookings are flooding in for both Floristry and Photography. It's happening so quickly I can't wait to see what the future holds! :)
In true Sam style I always want more so I have another little creative venture up my sleeve too so watch this space! ;)
"The path may be long, but don't give up it WILL be worth it"
